Sunday, March 20, 2011

Do you want to see God or just see Him move?

Why is it that we sometimes question why God calls us to do the impossible? Our humanness starts to take over and we begin to doubt the call he has placed on our hearts. Today in church, our preacher posed a question that made me stand in the moment; “Do you want to see God or just see Him move?” What a statement! I know that in my very own life I have been so focused on the miracle (the move) that I may have lost sight of God. God has placed this adoption on our hearts and Jim Bob and I took the step of faith to follow what he has asked us to do. That being said, I get consumed of the thoughts of the financial burden that this poses for our family. Jim Bob and I pray without ceasing that he will provide. I know that he will provide because it tells us so in the bible. I question myself after hearing this awesome message today, what am I looking for? We get so caught up in waiting for the miracle that we lose sight of God. We don’t even recognize the everyday miracles that he places in our lives. Getting up in the morning and taking a breath, every beat of my heart, and my children’s laughter are only but a fraction of the everyday miracles that I sometimes take for granted and don’t even give thanks for. Why is it that we stand with our arms wide open and ask...hey God, I am waiting...when are you going to strike me with that big miracle. He has in so many ways..we sometimes don’t even “see” it. God has shown us through this adoption process that he is with us by the miracles that have unfolded thus far. I need to pause in the moment and give thanks for what he has done today and not worry about tomorrow. Matthew 6:33-34 says; “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Remember, God is putting you through things today so that he can equip you to get through tomorrow. This adoption journey has been so amazing for Jim Bob and I. I have and am still learning so much about myself. God is pruning me each day so that I can be a better wife, mother, sister, and friend. Thank you God for all the miracles in my life!
So, for those of you who are reading this I have a few questions to ask you:
~What does God have to do to get your full attention?
~What is in your life today that is holding you back form receiving the fruit of God?
~Do you want to see God or just see Him Move?
Remember the everyday miracles and praise him for those blessings!

Friday, March 11, 2011

A Face of Hope

A few Saturdays ago was a bitter sweet day for me. My sister and I had planned to pick out a grave marker for our mom in the morning. God knew that I needed a little sunshine on my day so he gave me a wink ;) Earlier that morning I received a message from a friend that they were going to try and skpye with us again with the girls. We were so excited to hear this news because I didn't think that we would get a chance to talk to them again. We had some time before we were to skpye, so I left to accomplish the bitter part of the day...picking out the grave marker. As my sister and I finished this task, I felt my spirits lift because it was like mom was shining down on us. Mom was smiling because she knew something exciting was going to happen. She always had a great way of making the clouds go away. I told Robin about the chance to skpye with the girls and she jumped on the chance to come to my house to see them. So~ Robin, Jason, Parker and my dad all came to the house so that they could see and feel the excitement of why we want to adopt. God intervened yet again with this situation. We all gathered in the living room waiting for our call through skpye. We were so excited, Jim bob and I were pacing the floors. Finally the call came through and there was our girls! This conversation was special because there was someone there who was actually able to translate for us. We got the chance to ask them questions and they had the chance to find out things from us. I loved the moment because we were all gathered around the computer explaining who each person was. You could see the excitement on their faces. They asked us how many cousins would they have and when we told them their reaction was priceless! They giggled and said, "wow." Wait until they meet the extended family!! I explained that Jim Bob and I both have big families and that they are going to have a lot of people love them. Both Nastya and Anya got teary eyed! It is just so precious to see the hope in their eyes. Nastya, who is 14 years old was so desperately wanting a family to adopt her from America. I found out later that she had approached one of the families that was over in Ukraine, just pleading with them to find her a family. Anya is 16 years old and will soon graduate from the orphanage. Children graduate from an orphanage at the age of 15-17. I can't imaging leaving and not having a family to take you in with open arms. Someone to wipe away the tears on a bad day or someone to laugh with you in a moment of joy. After watching my mom lose her battle to cancer, I found myself wanting to be a better person. She taught me so much about life and some of those things I took for granted. Now, I cherish all of those lessons. Even in death a seed can be planted. My moms courage, strength, love and strong faith inspired us all. Always remember to laugh a little more and hug a little more. Family is everything. My mom's gift is what has started this process. I could have asked for a better way to honor her and to glorify God! So, we are now starting this journey to adopt two teenage daughters. Yes, that is what I said, two teenage girls...lol! At first, We couldn't believe it ourselves that God had called us to adopt two teenage girls. I thought to myself, If I was going to adopt...it would be a child that was closer in age to our children. How quickly God can speak to you and change your mind!! By taking this leap of faith, God has made this process go quickly. We had our home study done a week ago...and PASSED!!! Now we are just working on more paper work and praying for God's hand on our family. My mom's favorite verse comes to mind through all of this:
Proverb 3: 5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. This is definitely a God Thing! Without action faith is dead. This is truly a leap of faith for us. I can't even begin to say how blessed we are that God has directed us to adopt two precious girls. Two girls that have a new face...a face of hope.
Thank you mom!!

Friday, March 4, 2011

It's a God thing...

This is how our journey began~
On September 8th 1996, I fell in love with what would be my future husband. Jim Bob and I knew each other ever since kindergarten but never explored a relationship other than friends until I was just about to turn 16. The rest is history. We have been together for 16 years and have been married for almost 10 years. We have two very precious, rambunctious little boys. Hunter is 7 and Ethan is 2 1/2. After Hunter, I had two miscarriages that were very devastating for us. Then came precious little Ethan. My pregnancy with Ethan was a very trying and uncertain pregnancy. I almost lost him around 13 weeks, but God was in control. Soon after Ethan was born we decided that pregnancy was not in our best interest anymore although we wanted more children. God was going to open our eyes in another direction.
This past summer our family took part in a missions program. With much planning and fundraising, 22 Ukrainian children came to Quest Haven Lodge in Tyrone for a hosting program. We felt as though our mission was just to pray for the children and pray for the camp. Little did Jim Bob and I know our lives would be changed forever. We were excited to help in anyway that we could with the camp. I had a chance to do some arts and crafts with the children and Jim Bob took the children on a fishing excursion. We looked forward to each new day spending time with the children. They were teaching us so much about life. Funny thing was, we thought that we were there to help them, but it was actually the children who taught us all something. Jim Bob and I began to feel emotions that we never thought we would be open to. We started to talk about adoption more and more. The time had come for the hosting camp to come to and end and there Jim Bob and I stood on the last day, crushed because God did not call us to adopt any of these precious children. We felt as though he was just telling us it is not our time. So we did not act on emotion and jump into the idea of adoption. One thing was certain, our hearts had become wide open to the idea of adoption from the camp. We drove home that last day of camp with tears in our hearts because we just had the longing feeling to adopt. God knew then that it wasn't our time and that we just had to be still in our quiet moment and wait. Slowly God was unfolding pieces to life's puzzle as to why we were not called to adopt at the camp. Earlier in the spring my mom was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. In June she went to Pittsburgh to have surgery performed to remove the tumor but the doctors decided to stop the surgery and proceed with chemo and radiation for a few months. She was then to come back in September to have the surgery performed again. While we were going through the host camp, we thought that mom was going to pull through the cancer with all the treatments that she had undergone. The host camp was over at the end of August and early September dad and I went back to Pittsburgh with mom to have the surgery again. As I sat in the pre-op. room with my mom we talked about different things and even would talk about the host camp. Let me take a step back a minute and tell you that she was so thrilled with the missions work that Jim Bob and I were doing. She would often call us every night to find out what the day was like at the camp. The most important part was that she supported Jim Bob and I with whatever decision we made about adoption. So as we sat in the room we reflected on many things and then it came time for her to go into surgery. Mom looked at me and said, "Mandy, I don't think the outcome is going to be very good. Just pray, but I am ok with whatever the outcome maybe." I prayed with her and then they took her back to start the surgery. I stood in the hallway with tears just streaming down my face. It was as if God was telling me to be prepared for what is to come. I knew in that moment that everything was in God's hands and that I had to be strong. Although Jim Bob and I kept praying about the adoption, I was thankful that God's answers were wiser than our prayers! Mom was right the surgery did not go as planned and once again they had to stop the procedure. We were called into this little room where the doctor came in and told us her fait. He told us that she would probably have a life expectancy of 6-12 months. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Later, after the words would sink in I kept thanking God for his quiet moment in our longing to adopt. I couldn't imagine going through this process knowing that I had just a few short precious months with my mom. My entire focus had to be on my mom and my family. My mom lived until God came and took her on December 10th 2010. I learned some of my most valuable life lessons in the last few months with my mom. She taught me so much about courage, love, patience and most of all, her strong faith. Lessons that have made me who I am today. Now that she is gone, I often think back to the adoption questions that Jim Bob and I still long for. I was so sure that God had told us no because my focus needed to be on my family and that the whole idea was passed us now. Well, God has been tapping us on the shoulder telling us...I am not finished with you yet.
Jim Bob and I started to pray together because we wanted to do what God was asking us to do. We would pray each night that God would give us direction as to what path he wanted us to take. There were two girls that we often thought about...they were to come on the hosting trip but were cut from the list last minute. We found ourselves looking for them on friends' blogs (who are in the adoption process) and wondering about them. We had expressed all of these emotions to a couple, who are dear friends of ours, and asked them to pray for us for God's clarity once again. As our friends (Cheri and Russi) travel time was approaching to go to Ukraine we had talked about maybe trying to skype with the two girls we were drawn to. Cheri emailed me and asked me where Jim Bob and I were on the adoption idea so she knew how to pray. As I said before, we were open but just didn't feel like we were hearing God....YET!
Later that week we had set up the chance to skype with Cheri and Russie (who would have the girls with them). We prayed that God would have his hand in this and that if this was supposed to happen, please let it happen. Russie said to be home on skype around 10am- noon our time...that they were going to do their best to make this happen. Jim Bob and I got up the next day and went to a benefit breakfast at the Church of the Good Shepherd and then went home. We found ourselves pacing the floors in anticipation. Then we heard the call from our computer and ran over to it like two kids at Christmas time. It was as if time stood still as we opened up the video chat. We got the chance to see the girls and say a few words to them...Let me add that the girls had no idea that we were praying for them and for God's guidance through all of this. For all they new, we were just another set of friends who wanted to see Vika and Anslee (the girls that Russie and Cherri adopted) and also talk to Cheri and Russie. It was in that moment that God told us...take my hand and take this leap of faith for I am with you. The conversation only lasted about 8 minutes but it is the moment that God had been preparing us for...his perfect moment to answer our prayers. At the end of the conversation with all of them...Nastya called me momma. I didn't hear this because I was talking to Cheri but Jim Bob and Russie heard it. God had told them to pick us as well!! Later that day Russie, Cheri, Mick and Janelle skyped with us to talk about God's divine moment. They all told us how the girls were just smiling ear to ear and how the just knew we were going to be their mamma and pappa. We had confirmed with Russie and Cheri that we were going to take this leap of faith and pursue adoption. Jim Bob and I don't know how this is all going to happen but we couldn't be happier to do God's plan!

"But if it were I , I would appeal to God; He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted." ~Job 5:8-9
Please pray for us as we start to write this new chapter in our lives.
~Mandy and Jim Bob